And the beat goes on...

god...everything is sucking rite now. like MAJORLY. i just talked to erika a few minutes ago. she seemed really distressed. and so am i. rosie-i know u are going through rough times rite now. you know i am too. but dont let it get to you. i am glad you confided in me. know that i am always here for you ok? i love you so much. take care of yourself.

today started out ok. i mean. class was cool. i went to practice. that was fun. i did kc's hair. chilled with the usual peeps...annie..i dunno. aica's lil bro alan was there. such a cutie. we had practice. it was a lot of fun. HOT but fun. we scrimmaged the whole time and we even played a couple of games against varsity! fun stuff. after practice, i went to rj's house. we chilled. ate. had fun. i love you tootsie! we talked to joe and stuff. got a bajillion calls from john. grrrr. hmmm..then we started to pray the rosary. i actually prayed. i prayed to God. i asked him why was life so hard. why do i go thorugh so much shit. why do i go through it alone? why am i so empty inside? i dont know. in the middle of it, my mom came, so i left. we went home. i changed. cleaned up a bit. then we went to cerritos. visited some relatives. called ika, mel, darwin...i dunno. thanks eryne for the letter! mel, thanks for talking. and darwin, have fun tomorrow. tita odette called me too. asked me to go out with her son, chris. i said maybe. so i called him. he was going to cw. i dunno if i am going. ? so yeah. whatever. i dunno. so we left cerritos at around 10. on the way home, my mom and i were talking. i opened up to her about everything. about all my guy problems. we talked about my grandpa who was moved to ICU this morning. he is dying. we both know it. that's why all his brothers and sisters are here. i told her how lonely i was. i miss my sisters and my dad soo much. i have so much trouble with myself. we just started crying. i cried all the way home. all i could do was pray. i prayed that maybe God would end all my miseries. i get home. go online. talk to kc, dani, chris, justine...and yeah. hmm..thanks justine for the great advice. kc, u better tell me. i am sorry dani! thanks for listening and talking though! and chris... i dont know what to say. i am crying my eyes out rite now. and it isn't because of my "guy problems." well, it is..but on top of that, i have other shit to deal with. and i SERIOUSLY have NO clue whatsoever what to do. i know i have so many people i can turn to, but i dont know. it is so hard. what do i do?

Posted by Camille on Friday, July 26 at 12:03 AM | Permalink