And the beat goes on...

yep, i am MISERABLE..
- why, you might ask.. well, let me tell you. there are hundreds of reasons why i am miserable and who knows.. YOU could be one of the reasons. and no, it's not like that. no ONE person makes me miserable, but it's what they DO that gets me all down in the dumps.
- i fuck up all the time... who doesn't? i am only human, for God's sake. [ i am not using the Lord's name in vain. ] but people have these standards and if you don't meet them, you automatically become this horrible creature that isn't even worthy enough to be talked to, let alone, be in their presence. i don't think i have become this creature... YET.
- however, i DID fuck up. a LOT, i might add. not just this past week, but in the past in general. i don't know what compels me to do the dumb shit i do, but hey, it happens.
- let this puclic outcry be a sign.. a sign of what? you'll see..
- everything i have and cherish is slowly slipping form my grasp and i don't know how or if i will ever get it back.. back to me.
- i have come to the realization that nothing's perfect. i am sure you have all come to realize that... i am the most distant thing from ever being close to perfect - i am a bad daughter, a bad sister, a really bad girlfriend who isn't "good enough" for my boyfriend, and apparently, a horrible friend.
- i am sorry to those i have hurt in the past. you may or may not forgive me.. and whatever you decide to do, just know that i truly am sorry.. and to those who have hurt me.. you are all forgiven. whatever damage was done is done. it's all in the past where it belongs.
- thank you to those people who are still by my side. i don't know why or how you are still here. it surprises me. but thanks... i guess that's all. goodbye for now.

Posted by Camille on Tuesday, July 20 at 1:10 AM | Permalink