And the beat goes on...

i am having one of the most horrible days of my life! GRRRR!!! my mom pissed me off so much today and that just triggered "it." i don't really know exactly what "it" is, but i just broke down. i had this emotional breakdown and i couldn't stop it. i cried hysterically and i didn't know what to do. no one to talk to. so i called ika and nikz and julez and of course they were all in class but i dunno. i had to tell "someone" how i was feeling. i was losing it! so i left gay ass messages on their fone sounding like a complete idiot! and so i sat there for a while and i just prayed. i told God what was up. i let all my emotions run out of me. i am going through a lot. some people do and others don't. i don't really feel like posting my whole life story up here either. ::sigh:: so yeah. i called my sister thinking she'd be in class just like everyone else and she picked up. i called her and we talked. told her what was on my mind. cried hysterically again. she kept telling me to calm down. [so she didn't have skool after all.] she asked me if i wanted to be picked up. i said yeah. and so i took a shower and just kept crying and crying..and i got out of the shower. 2 missed calls. 1 new number: ika. sweeet sweet message from my twin. i love you girl!!! and thanks... :) so i felt a lil' better. my sister came at 1:30. we were going back to her place in the valley. she was like, u wanna listen to angry white people music? i was like, ?!?!!?!? haha,..some of you may know that jason is always, well, he used to talk about "angry white people music." that was wierd. and so i was like, ok. we listened to some system of a down and other crap. brian made her some "rock mix." and we were at her house. we ate some food that she made! yummy. it was all ready and stuff. we watched passions. i fell asleep and didn't wake up till like 6:45! whoa! i was just so overwhelmingly tired. go to my phone. 8 missed calls. 4 new numbers: nikz, jen, arielle, and john. then i had 2 new messages. both from miguel. :p thanks buddy! so sweet! he IS one sweet guy...hmmm...? anyways, ate some more. watched tv. then at 8:00 i checked my messages. thanks nikz for the messages! felt better. my fone was on silent by the way. :/ and some calls from ale! shit..our drama final was tonight. i am sooo ready to fail that class! :( damn. oh wells. and then nikki cadiente. so yeah. and now i am just blogging...feeling tired..stressed. i wish i could check myself into one of those places. i should though! well, smallville season finale. yay! i love lana [kristin kreuk.] beautiful girl! some shit better happen with her and clark! i am online on my sis' sn. my sn "is invalid," and i can't sign on. :( booo!!! oh well. i am talking to miguel rite now. :) ::grin:: yeah. well, i am gonna end this somewhat long blog and watch smallville. byeee!!! and if it isn't too much of a hassle...i know this is REALLY gay and corny, but if u can, pray for me? and don't worry...i am not gonna go shoot myself or something. i want to, but that isn't in my book of plans. ok..that's all...

Posted by Camille on Tuesday, May 21 at 9:27 PM | Permalink